You have all the odds stacked against you if you are setting new goals in this new year. Not trying to be a Debbie downer here, but according to businessinsider.com 80% of the people setting resolutions will have failed by February. And I’m pretty sure that we all have been in that statistic more than once in our lives.
When I look back to my own big stack of failed resolutions, I realized that they all had a “theme” to them and it was why I gave up. Talking to my clients and friends I know many are stuck right here with me.
This is what I got figured out so far that works!
Goals should empower you. I often felt so overwhelmed with my goals. It was like everything “bad” about myself had to change right away on January 1st and it was just to much! So I learned to set goals that empowered me, goals that wants me to bring the best out of myself instead of beating myself down. Sure I might want to lose weight, but that doesn’t mean I’m not ok right now, it just means I CAN be even better & stronger and you have taken control of the now. When you come at yourself with LOVE in the process of change it really will feel so much better.
Hard doesn’t equal bad. I used to not push through the HARD stuff. I used to think that once it was a little hard “that it was just not meant for me.” But once I stopped quitting on myself (and then of course didn’t have to re-start a 1000 times) I learned that change is ALL about the hard and to push through and trust the process, learn and look for the better me on the other side.
Get over the feelings of needing things to be perfect. I am a hot freaking mess y’all but I still always felt as I needed to have all my ducks in the row before I could go after who I wanted to be, and what I wanted to do. But the neat rows I worked so hard on always got pushed to the side of “mistakes” I did, or missing work outs or eating things I said I wasn’t… I’m still working on accepting that things will never be perfect, it will never be a perfect timing, I will always do and say things I wish I could take back – but it dosen’t mean its not suppose to be a part of the journey I’m on and that it actually might be exactly the way universe has my back to make things bigger and better.
Have a crystal clear vision with a plan. I used to write down a few goals on a paper but a week into the new year I had lost them, or they were tucked into a drawer somewhere. You need to have them in front of your face daily to know where you are going. AND you need to make a plan! So you want to lose weight, how are you going to do this..? When are you going to work out, what are you going to eat when the late night cravings hit you? When will you know that you reached your goal, and when you have, then what..? Will you just “quit” and slowly gain weight back or are you creating a new lifestyle..? There is so much more than just “lose weight.” Fail to plan or plan to fail – you choose!
You don’t have to be fearless. Fear has held me back my whole life. Fear of not being good enough, of failing, being pretty enough, smart enough, talented enough, not living up to other peoples expectations, or fear of not living up to my own expectations. We always talk about “being fearless” in the personal growth space but the truth is we need to just embrace our fears and become fear warriors instead. We need to get up and do what we need to do even with our fear sitting in our chest doubting everything about ourselves. Because fear is just a feeling of the unknown, get over it, and move on. You will feel empowered when you realized that you did “it” even though you were filled with fear. Change is on the other side of fear.
Start today! I have so many times felt as a I needed a Monday, a new month, or just “later” to start something new. But start right away or even more importantly –> get back to it right away when you think you’ve “failed” what you said you would do or fell off the wagon – never wait until tomorrow to “try” again. Just keep on going and going and going.
Mama, I want to encourage you today since we are coming up on the first full week of January. Maybe you have already “fallen off” your goals or maybe you have yet to start. It’s time you set your fears to the side and push through the hard to get to where you want.
What is it you want mama? What needs to change? WHO do you want to be?
I would LOVE if you shared in the comments below your thoughts around resolutions and what your biggest thing is that you want to accomplish in 2019!
If no one else tells you today I want to tell you that YOU matter, you are beautiful, you CAN do hard things and I believe in you and your ability to make your dreams come true.