I haven’t been on here for a while and I could give you 100 and 1 reasons (and some excuses..) why I haven’t. But today I wanted to share with you a little bit of my story and why just STARTING is the most important thing you can do for yourself. Whatever it might be, take a step forward.
This story kind of makes me crack up now – but at the time I was so upset and so embarrassed and was ready to throw in the towel on day 1.
I was standing in front of a room full of women and a few men who were waiting on an instructor that they didn’t yet know was not coming BUT that I was there instead.
I had called around to a few places the week before and asked if they were looking for new instructors. I had just got my certificate to teach and now it was time to do this!
The guy on the phone at world gym said “can you be here Monday? Our kick box instructor is out of town. Be there at 5pm to fill her in.”
So this is where my trainer story starts.
Let me back track for just a moment. When this is going down in the history of me, lol, I was a different gal. I had ZERO confidence and I had just been working my way out of a depression like 8 months prior… So when I think back – I have NO idea how the heck I came up with the idea of wanting to teach classes… I hadn’t even been to a fitness class in YEARS prior to showing up to be honest just been working out at my house by myself and my dvd’s. But I had started a little bit of personal development and I had ALWAYS had this dream of being in the fitness & health space.
So, it was kind of a miracle I was standing there.
But there I was.
“-Hey guys. I’m Lina and I’m going to be teaching the class today. Uhm… It’s kind of like kickboxing but not really… it’s more choreographed and some dance moves mixed in… uhm… OK… let’s start.”
Fumbling with music. And I finally got it to start.
I started with the “turbo shoulder rolls” side to side.
I got this.
Or maybe I will throw up… Not sure yet…
I look in the big mirrors. Holy shit – if you ever have been nervous about being in front of people AND then you have mirrors EVERYWHERE to confirm how freaking stupid you really look doesn’t help at all…
Surprisingly, everyone was following along and I must say, it went pretty good for the first 20-30 minutes. I SMILED big as I had been taught in my training and tried so hard to seem relaxed and then it happened…
I blacked out.
I completely blacked out. I couldn’t remember a single move. I just stood there, moving somewhat side to side… Everyone else just stood there too… Starring at me. Waiting on ME to do something. And I just didn’t do ANYTHING!
What the heck, I had practiced this over and over and over again – I knew this in my sleep! And NOW I couldn’t remember it..!
I started mumbling something about how sorry I was, how it was my first time ever teaching and I was really nervous and then I can’t really remember anything else… But I’m pretty sure I made up some moves and prayed HARD for it to just be over soon.
IT was BAD y’all.
After class, I packed up my stuff and wanted to RUN out of there. A few of the ladies encouraged me on their way out. I was so thankful for that. But I knew I had completely FLOPPED and I wanted to go home and cry.
I was embarrassed…
Teaching fitness classes was something I had always wanted to do since I was a little girl and saw Jane Fonda in my mom’s work out videos. It seemed SO easy and had always seen in my head how good I would be at this. How easy it would come to me. And then when my big moment was here I felt as a huge failure.
Until when I stopped at the desk to tell everyone bye and thank you for the opportunity to come and try it out… They somehow magically added my class to the schedule.
WHAT!? They gave me a teaching job..!?
Yeah, you are probably as surprised by that as I was after that disaster… And I’m sure that one God who threw a post-it not on their desk saying “Give this poor girl a job – I have big things planned for her – you can’t see it now, but she will change the lives of many one day…” Bahaha! Thank you Universe for having my back.
So the next week I showed up to my brand new class on the schedule.
And you might think I did a lot better but I had the theme “fail forward” going for me and I kept messing up a lot. But I kept coming back. I kept showing up. I kept working on becoming better, moving better, my confidence and although my class was never huge, it grew some!
It would have been easier for me to just stop. But I didn’t.
A spark, a tiny beginning and some drive has put me where I am now – where I have my own Toned Mamas bootcamp with amazing mamas showing up day after day. I’m definitely not the best trainer – that I now own 100% but I LOVE it and I’ll keep improving. I’ve created a tribe who is ok with my silly jokes, me saying move your wrist when I mean “foot” and speak Swedish words out of nowhere instead of English… lol. We have so fun together and I know my classes are great.
“Great success often starts from a tiny beginning – but there HAS to be a beginning. You have to start somewhere. You have to do something. -Jeff Olsen”
So as I’m feeling that nudge to keep on improving and keeping on going for bigger dreams to help & inspire more women I thought of this story as I was kind of “freezing” up with all my fears, and “what if’s” as I usually do. Me showing up that day teaching that class started a small little momentum that has been rolling a faster at times and slower at other times but it has been moving!
So my question to you is; what is something YOU need to just SHOW UP TO?
WHAT is something YOU have been wanting to do or given up doing that you can’t stop thinking of. You know there is that little SPARK of “something” that you can’t let go of. Mama, it is TIME to go for it.
It could be to run a half marathon, go to an event, start taking college classes, starting your own business or maybe it’s as simple to ask another mama if she would like to hang out with you next week.
Whatever “it” is, start doing something in that direction – who knows what can happen if you GO for it.
What do you know YOU need to start doing to fulfill your version of my Jane Fonda dream?