The second you pee on a stick and get a positive pregnancy test mom-guilt will hit you.
Are you healthy enough to carry this baby? Eating enough? Moving too much or too little..? Forgot the prenatal vitamins a few days and feel crappy about that..?
When they are born that guilt builds up if what you are doing is good enough – nursing or bottle feeding, working and having your kids with a baby sitter, or staying at home with them. You feel as you are messing your kids up if you put a tv show on so you can grab a quick shower, you feel as you don’t spend enough time with them, not feeding them healthy enough or too healthy and the list goes on and on and on…
I asked in my TONED MAMAS ONLINE TRIBE group what mommy-guilt looks like to them and everyone had a different answer. Here are a few;
Cleaning instead of playing with the kids.
Rushing the kids.
Feeling like mom-zilla and screaming at the kids.
Letting the kids eat boxed macaroni and cheese.
Frustrated when they spill their milk.
Being on the phone too much.
These are so real, and so raw and I know we can all relate to it. Thank you to my Toned Mamas who shared these with the rest of us. <3
Seriously, what the heck happens with our minds when we become moms..?
Where does this comparison and need of feeling as we HAVE to get every single thing perfect? And when we don’t measure up to our own impossible perfect picture of what we think mom life should look like – we beat ourselves up daily and feel as we are failing at this whole motherhood stuff…
I think it’s impossible not to feel some kind of guilt here and there, but I’ve started to refuse to feel mom-guilt daily and as I’m not measuring up.
Messing up, being too tired to play, making cereal for dinner, working when you shouldn’t, reading on your phone, telling your kids to wait, screaming, rushing them etc. –> It’s all a part of LIFE. Give yourself a BREAK. Give yourself some grace and know that you don’t have to try to live up to a perfect mom that doesn’t even exist.
I think it’s time to stop the mom guilt and start giving ourselves and others a smack with the mommy grace stick right on top of our heads. BANG!
Grace means goodwill, kindness, esteem & respect.
Can we start being a little kinder to ourselves and just know that we love our little babes more than anything, but our own well-being and sanity is also important. Saying NO to your kids will empower them and teach them that we all are significant.
It’s not just them or me, it’s about us a family and we are ALL important.
I admit, this is a lot easier now when my daughters are older – but every season of life has its own challenges.
Struggling with mom-guilt doesn’t make you a better mom.
How is mom-guilt improving your life..?
How is it improving your kids lives?
NOTHING is better because we beat ourselves up with all the coulda, woulda, shoulda’s in life.
APOLOGIZE to them, give your self grace and know you are human and doing your best and try again later.
Yes, they depend on us. But we depend on ourselves too, they are the most important thing we ever created on this earth, but we are very important too.
Some days our best is a boxed mac n cheese.
Some days we WILL suck at parenting.
Some days we WILL feel lazy.
Some days we will be a crafty fun mom that’s throwing a dance party and baking cookies.
Be kind to yourself mama. You are doing enough. You are enough. Bang the mom-guilt out of your heart and give yourself some mommy grace and know that you are doing your best. And that best can be different every single day.